Author: beckylevine

Becky Levine is a children's book writer, working hard to strengthen her picture-books skills. She is the author of The Writing & Critique Group Survival Guide, a book to help you get started with a critique group, learn to revise from a critique, and strengthen your own critiquing powers. She has also published two nonfiction children's books with Capstone Press. She is currently seeking representation. Becky lives in California's Santa Cruz mountains, where she spends a lot of time sitting on the couch, knitting needles in hand, thinking through the next revision. At her day job, she writes grants for a nonprofit healthcare organization.
Posted in First Drafts

Remembering What I Love about Writing

Posted on by beckylevine

This week, I broke a rule. A rule I have told other writers, loud and often, not to break.

I started over.

I spent some time in the fall putting words on pages. I went back and forth between writing scenes and reading research books. I got close to a hundred pages written. They weren’t bad. They probably qualified as the stuff that Anne Lamott says we need to get out of us, before we can revise. There was one problem.

I wasn’t happy.

Note I didn’t say that I wasn’t happy with the pages. I just wasn’t happy. I wasn’t enjoying any of the process. Oh, I’d write a few paragraphs in a voice that was fun, or I’d describe a bit of setting that looked pretty good. But I wasn’t being pulled back to write more, and I wasn’t looking forward to spending time with my MC. Who, frankly, is a pretty awesome person.

So I backed up. I spent November and December plotting the order of scenes, getting a much better idea of things that can happen in the middle, and starting to see a glimpse of how my two history threads (that DO intersect in reality) might intersect in my MC’s life. I spent time with each of my characters, trying to discover each of their goals, and I got closer. By the end of the year, I felt like I had a much stronger sense of the story.

And it had very little to do with what I’d written.

So I started over. Chapter 1, Scene 1, Page 1.

I’m slowing myself down, putting down some basic points for each scene before I start writing. Letting myself pause and think as I write, keeping in mind those character goals I thought about last month. I’m pushing myself to keep the dramatic action/conflict coming, even when I know I’ll have to amp it up later. Honestly, if you took the 100 pages I wrote this fall and compared them to the 100 pages I’m going to write in the next couple of months, I’m guessing they wouldn’t look that different. The characters and actions would probably look the same, and it’s probable that the new 100 pages won’t be any better, not from the outside.

But guess what? I’m happy again. The love is back, the feeling that this writing is THE thing I want to do with my life, no matter where it takes me on the “success” path. And I know that this is a story I want to tell.

Now I’m not planning on breaking this rule again. I still believe that too much time playing with words and phrasing at this point, in a first draft, can be a disasterous form of procrastination. But…as I get older, I’m learn (I hope!) some flexibility. I’m learning to listen more to myself, to my mind and my gut, and to take a few more chances that they might be right.

So, here and now, I give you permission to break a rule. Okay, let’s not make it one that lands you in prison with no writing time, but look for a little one that’s been bugging you. What have you heard in the past year about how to write, how not to write, that just isn’t working for you? What do you want to try instead–even if only for a few days, to check it out? Go for it…I’d love to see what happens!

Posted in Books

Friday Five: Books I’m Waiting For

Posted on by beckylevine

I’ve been doing a lot of re-reading lately, and it’s part “comfort food” and part waiting, I think. I’ve got some books on order and there are more that aren’t out yet (could some of you PLEASE write more quickly?!). So today’s five is a few books that are on their way…from a few days to a few months out! Take a look at the links & see which ones you might want to add to your stack!

*1. Andromeda Klein by Frank Portman

*2. How to Say Goodbye in Robot by Natalie Standiford

*3. The Secret Year by Jennifer Hubbard

+4. Sea by Heidi R. Kling 

^5. Thief Eyes by Janni Lee Simner

* Thanks to the gift card from my wonderful sister-in-law, these are on their way via the postal service. If they get here today or tomorrow, I’m in BIG trouble with all the other stuff I want to get done this weekend!

+I know Heidi online & locally, and all the wonderful things I’ve been hearing about this book make me very impatient for its release!

^I also have a while to wait for this one. I really liked Janni’s Bones of Faerie, and Thief Eyes is set in Iceland, where I visited a few years ago. Plus, all Janni’s blog posts and tweets about the story and the dilemmas both her characters and she have faced during its writing have me completely intrigued.

What’s on your I-Want-to-Read-this-NOW list?

Posted in Blog Contest, The Writing & Critique Group Survival Guide

Just for Fun: What Kind of Chocolate Should I Buy?

Posted on by beckylevine

So…my launch party is in 24 days. Me, counting?

There will be cupcakes. There will be Dove bars. Perhaps cookies. There will be a wonderful bookstore location where, before and after the launch, you can browse to your heart’s content. See what I’m offering?

There will also be a raffle.

I’m having a lot of fun putting together the package. No, I’m not telling you all what’s in it, but just think about the tools of critiquing, and you’ll be able to imagine. (Use your little grey cells, mon cher Hastings!)

I’ll tell you one thing, though. The raffle package will, of course, contain some chocolate-one of life’s, and critiquing’s, necessities.

So here’s today’s fun. The chocolate is the one part of the raffle package I have not yet bought. Why? Well, because–as I mentioned–the launch party is 24 days away, and by that time, the chocolate would get…eaten! And I haven’t yet decided what kind of chocolate to buy. My new favorite is Lindt’s Excellence Intense Pear Bar. One square of that and I’m writing (or critiquing!) productively for the next hour!

But I want to hear what you think. What’s the best chocolate bar you’ve ever tasted? What’s your regular fix? Let’s skip anything with peanuts, because I’m not risking an allergic reaction to my raffle goodies! It should go well with tea and the smell of ink, and it should contain the capacity to inspire brilliance.

Leave your “vote” in the comments. I’ll tell you what! Everybody else is running contests for me this month (check out Solvang Sherrie’s that ends today and PJ Hoover’s that just went up). Let’s get one started here. This contest is now officially open until Launch Day, January 15th. I will pull one voter’s name from a hat (or I might just ask Solvang Sherrie how she does that cool, random-name-generator thing), and I will send the winner a copy of The Writing & Critique Group Survival Guide (print or PDF) AND a bar of the Lindt’s Pear Bar. How can you pass that up?

Ready, set…think chocolate!

Posted in Blog Contest, E-Launch

Jennifer Hubbard’s The Secret Year Online Launch Party

Posted on by beckylevine

Just a quick drop-in today to let you know about a fun launch party for what sounds like a great book. Jennifer Hubbard is one of my favorite bloggers–her posts are always thoughtful and, consequently, always get me thinking! Her first YA book, The Secret Year, comes out this week, and she’s partying at her blog.

Check out all the ways to win fun prizes AND help Jenn make a nice donation to her local library.

All the details here.

Happy writing AND reading!

Posted in Organization

Starting Fresh and Organized…Sort Of

Posted on by beckylevine

I was a good kid. A really good kid. Mostly because I had no impulses to do anything risky or dangerous, since a great day was one when I was left alone to just lay on my bed and read. Consequently, I rarely got in trouble.

Okay, I lie. I frequently got in trouble, but for only one thing. Not cleaning my room.

I was the despair of my father. He and my mother had a beautiful house designed for them (okay, and us) when I was eight or so, and they created it with lots of open spaces, tons of windows with an ocean view, and light colors. All of which would have looked like something out of architectural digest, if it had stayed neat and tidy. Mostly, it did.

Just not my room.

So, why, these days, is it nearly impossible for me to work in a messy space? My dad would argue with this statement, especially after looking around my office at the piles not cleaned up from Xmas, the boxes and wrappings and gifts sort of pushed to the edges. We had a guest in November, and I’ve got more coming this month, so why should I put the futon back up into couch form? Why should I get rid of the pillows and comforter piled on it, when it’s such a cozy place for my son to hang out?  Obviously, I’m still not perfect.

But my desk is different. Yes, I make piles, but they have to be stacked up in a small space at either end of the desk. And–here’s the thing–if those piles hang around too long, well, I start to get nervous. Edgy. Stressed. I become sure, especially at 4:00 in the morning, that the piles hide something critical that I’ve forgotten about, something that is sure to be a real pain to take care of, that will have extra consequences because–by now–it’s overdue.

I’ve spent the past couple of days clearing out the piles. I did find a couple of those somethings, but luckily I’m not late, just…close to late. Guess what I’m doing tomorrow?! And, of course, since I finished tidying up last night, there are already a few new things in the stacks.

Life was easier when the only piles were books on the nightstand and, okay, clothes on the floor. In those days, I needed only a path from my door to the bed and the current book to be happy. Luckily, yes, life is also more fun now, with all the risks and possibilities woven into it.

But I wouldn’t say no to a butler/personal assistant to get rid of that new pile. 🙂

What does your workspace look like? Are you neat or cluttered? Do people peek in and wonder how you get any work done, or are they in awe of the empty, sparkling surfaces? And however it works for you–may your workspace be happy and productive!

Posted in New Year's Day, Writing Goals

If It’s 2010, I Must Be…

Posted on by beckylevine

Determined.

(Ha! Thought you were going to get an age there, didn’t you?!) No, you get determined, which I’ll talk about in just a little bit. First, I feel like mulling about the actual year.

2010. It’s really an incredible number to have attached to a year, I think. My son, even though he was born in the last millenium, has no conscious memory of any 19xx year.* His life is the 20xx’s and always will be. And yet, for me, that all still feels so recent.

I feel like I’ve settled into this century well. The turn of this century has been good to me; I met my husband and started building my family, my serious commitment to my writing career, and my life as the person I truly wanted to be, all in the 1990s. And the last decade has brought me increased health, happiness, friendships, and self-understanding–all with a huge dose of luck that I am incredibly grateful for.

So what about the coming year? What about 2010? Well, here are my thoughts.

Laura Purdie Salas sets a theme for herself every year. She says she failed on her last year’s one, but I think just stating it as a wish, as a recognition of a need is a success in itself. (Really, Laura!) Because the first step in getting what we want, what we need for our growth, is seeing what that need is. And writing down this want, stating it out loud or writing it out, reminds us that it’s important.

So I’m going to borrow the theme idea from Laura this year. And my theme is determination. 

When I picture that word, as an image, I see a backbone. A strong spine, helping me walk through this life I’m creating, helping me sit straight in my writing chair, helping me balance the marketing for The Writing & Critique Group Survival Guide, the writing for my YA historical, the revision for my picture book. I see the spine staying with the exercise and healthy eating I’m finally bringing back to myself, supporting me through the transition of watching my son move into High School, and giving me the flexibility to spend happy time with my family and friends.

In the past, in the 19xx’s, it was too easy for me to sit on one accomplishment, to let time pass without looking for the next. It was too much of a pattern for me to worry about the future, rather than stride forward to meet it, even to impact it. I’ve changed this about myself in the last 20 years, and I am determined to stay on this path. I am determined to watch for and take new turnings as they come along, even to get out my bulldozer and start shoving dirt out of the way for a new road, if that’s what I decide I need to do.

What do you do with the new year? Do you set goals? Do you visualize dreams? Do you pick a theme? And what does this solid, rounded number 2010 make you think about?

Happy New Year to everyone, and may it be an incredible one!

*Of course, when my son read this, he says he DOES have a memory of the 1900s. He can see a big 1999, in bright yellow construction paper, probably on the room of his preschool classroom. Okay, fine. But I swear I’m right about everything else in this post!

Posted in Antagonists, Conflict

Antagonists: What Have They Lost?

Posted on by beckylevine

Okay, I admit, this feels like an odd post to be writing at the end of the year, with a new one and all its possibilities just around the corner. But I’m working on characters this week, and I’m spending quite a bit of time with my antagonists. All of whom, really, have their good sides. In fact, they’re all a little too nice at this point, and I’m digging for what they want so badly that it’s turning them against my MC.

And as I was thinking about one character’s particular want, I realized that this want–his deep, most real want–is impossible. He lost any chance of getting that want years ago–through no fault of his own. I know, storywise, that the path is not going to turn; it won’t be a surprise, happy ending for him. So…because without a goal, there is no plot, I needed to think of another want for him, less powerful maybe, but one that has filled in for the older need–one that still motivates his actions and choices in the story. A want that still makes problems for my MC.

It came to me pretty quickly. Okay, let’s face it, I was laying in bed not wanting to get up and character development is as good an excuse as any to stay warm and cozy.

The cool thing that I realized was that the new want hasn’t completely erased the old one. Oh, sure, the character is 99.9999% sure that he’ll get that old want. He knows it intellectually and at a gut level. But…he still wants it. If you said to him, what would you do to get X, he’d come up with a huge list of things he’d sacrifice. In a nano-second.

So what do you get with this character, then? You get a character who knows loss, and who will fight more strongly than ever to keep from losing more. I think  it’s this loss, this awareness of what they can’t have, that makes an antagonist so powerful in his battle. He can’t go back, can’t have that original want, but he will hold onto his “replacement” want with everything he’s got.

The character I was thinking about this morning, just to try and make things more clear, is my MC’s father. I don’t want to get too deeply into specifics, but his original want is the woman he fell in love with, his wife (the MC’s mother) as she was before something bad happened to her. He can’t have that woman–she is forever gone. She broke years ago, and she has changed permanently, but she has healed…some.  So his second want, the one he lives with now, is to keep safe the woman he does have, to stop anything from breaking her again.

Even if this means stopping his daughter.

What does this create? An antagonist in serious conflict with the hero. An antagonist who the reader will sympathize with (assuming I can actually write this!), and who will make big problems for the main character. An antagonist with power.

Take a look at your bad guy. What do they want, now, at this moment in the story. And then…what would they rather have? What have they, in essence, given up on, but still hold the tiniest bit of hope for? How many more sides do you see to this antagonist, when you add that extra piece?

Posted in Uncategorized

Winding Down at the Turning of the Year

Posted on by beckylevine

New Year’s Day is still over a week away, but today is the solstice, and I am definitely in that gear that has me coasting gently downhill till the end of the month and year. This means that I am basically going with what the day brings, with little start-and-stop jerks as another box arrives to be opened, and I remember another small item to be wrapped. I played chauffeur for my son this morning, then ran a few errands that needed to be done before Xmas arrives. There are a few left, and I’ll fit them into the next two days. Husband did pick-up duties this evening, while I cleaned up from my meat-pie-cooking session this afternoon and swept bits of paper and ribbon off my desk.

All slow and easy.

If I were any good at geometry, I’d have the word to describe the arc of this pattern–the downward curve I’m on now, knowing that–unless you’re a delivery person or diving into stores for last-minute purchases–things are quiet and quietening all around me. When I look ahead along the arc, I know I’ll touch a happy bottom around New Years, then start the upward curve, with the momentum of this relaxation making the slope pretty easy to get up.

This year has been amazing, with all the (thankfully) usual good things compounded by writing my book and seeing it through the publishing process. Today, I heard from two friends that Amazon had shipped their copies–it’s heading out into the real world, and in January I’ll be seeing it on shelves in bookstores. Yes…amazing. It’s a bit like the gentle starts-and-stops of getting ready for Xmas–the excitement synapses just spark every now and then, catching me out of the cooking or the cleaning or the reading.

I’ve been looking at people’s photos on Facebook & Twitter of snow-covered hills and buildings. We don’t have that here; in fact, today was gray skies and drizzle that just left goopy leaf piles on the ground. Still, something about this season and this time of year brings the quiet I imagine from those photos. A quiet we all need, I think, to break patterns, shift gears, and get ready for the next year.

2010. Can you believe it? And can you even imagine what it might bring?

Posted in Uncategorized

Friday Five: My Holiday Weeks

Posted on by beckylevine

School ends today for two weeks. Son is pretty much dancing with happiness, and I have to say–looking ahead at a pretty easy holiday, I’m enjoying the thought of some relaxing, too. Here are 5 things I’ll probably be doing in the next two weeks.

1. NOT setting the alarm. Sleeping till I wake up.

2. Going through my days relatively schedule free.

3. Making Tourtieres. This is the one recipe I inherited from my husband’s mother that I make. No there is no French-Canadian in my husband’s genetic line, but it comes via a favorite aunt-by-marriage, and it’s absolutely yummy comfort food.

4. Spending time with each of the characters in my YA, getting focused on the “I want” for each of them. I really want to start actually writing on this project in January, and I think this is the one big chunk of understanding I need to get closer to before I get back to scenes.

5. Reading, reading, reading. And, yes, reading.

For all of you who are celebrating holidays, taking time off, spending time with family and friends, NOT setting your alarms for a while, or just making any kind of pattern-shift in the next couple of weeks…enjoy!

Posted in Writing Fears

Some Thoughts on Fear

Posted on by beckylevine

I just read two wonderful books of historical fiction:

The reading of both of these books was an absolute delight. The books move quickly, not weighed down by too much historical baggage, with the hero’s problems and needs always the main focus.  As a reader, I lost myself in both stories and found excuses to put off other work so I could keep reading and keep reading. And as a writer, I kept hearing myself in the background, saying, “Yes! This is what historical fiction should be. This is what I want to do with my story.”

Those were the ups.

The down, of course, was that other voice in the background, still mine, but the variant that isn’t so sure about things. And that voice was saying, “…if I can.”

It’s a big if.

I’m also reading Seven Steps on the Writer’s Path, by Nancy Pickard and Lynn Lott. My friend and critique partner Terri Thayer bought multiple copies of this book after hearing Nancy Pickard talk at a recent writers conferences. She wrapped them up and handed them around the table at our last meeting, because, she said, we all needed the book.

I think she’s right. So far, I’ve only read up to  Step 1, Unhappiness, which the authors identify as the stage before you get writing, when–in a not-so-bad case–you’re itching with unreleased creativity, or–in a pretty bad case, you’re depressed and curled up with misery. I don’t think I’m there right now, not full-blown, anyway, but I recognize the stage. Probably you all do. Because in this stage, whether you’re bursting with the need to write or stressing out that you might not be able to, there’s one common factor.

Fear.

These days, I’m feeling pretty good about my writing. In the “old days,” I typically had one idea at a time and, if that project was going poorly, I faced the big fear that this was all I would ever think of to write and I wouldn’t even be able to do that. For whatever reason these days, I have more ideas than I can juggle, wishing mostly for more time so I could get to all of them.

But…reading these two novels reminded me that the fear can still lurk. The fear that what I want to do with this historical fiction novel I’m working on, the story that I want to tell, may be beyond me.  I’ve looked pretty closely at this, and–honestly–I’m pretty sure this feeling is not jealousy. This is one way I’m lucky, I think–when someone creates a thing of beauty, especially out of words, it motivates and inspired ms, rather than making me feel like I should give up. Still, mixed into the pleasure and the awe is that other, less happy emotion.

I honestly know only one way of dealing with this feeling. And that is to look fully head on at the question I’m asking myself.

That question is: “What if I can’t write Caro’s story, not with the strength it deserves, the power I know a book can have? What if I am not a good enough writer?”

I don’t know the answer to that question. Perhaps that’s a good thing. 🙂 

What I do know is this: If I stop trying, if I give up, then, no, I won’t be able to write the book. If I quit, then I drop any chance of success that I might hope for.

Pickard and Lott talk about not hiding from the unhappiness; they say the only way to get through it is to recognize and speak it. I would add that there may or may not be a way to get past the fear, but there is a way not to let it beat us. And that is to choose the option of hope. Possibility. The maybe I can. To keep writing.

And, of course, to keep reading. To remind ourselves why we do this, what we are striving for.  Thanks, Joyce. Thanks, Laurie.