Posted in First Drafts

The End is (Possibly) in Sight

Report: The 1st draft of my historical YA  is moving along. Quickly.

Okay, not that quickly. Individual scenes are not zooming along, not flying from my fingers in a state of loveliness. Hardly. Let’s say I’m seriously channeling Anne Lamott these days.

It does feel like I could, if I wanted, count out the number of scenes I have left till the end. I’m not going to, because it’ll be more than I think, and then I’ll just get discouraged.

Maybe it’s because I spent a couple of weeks working on a synopsis. Maybe it’s because I took a couple more weeks off to revise my picture book. Maybe it’s because I have too many what-ifs and buts churning in my head about the first 3/4 of this draft, and I just want to get to them and start working it all out.

Whatever the cause, I’m letting myself hurry. I’m spending less time plotting a scene than I normally would, even in this exploratory draft I’m doing. I’m letting myself leave BIG holes between scenes and inside them. If I looked closely, I’m pretty sure that I’d see I’m writing melodrama, rather than drama.

I’m pretty sure this is okay. I’m getting it down. I’m heading toward the ending that’s been in my brain for a good part of  a year now, and I’m trying to stay open to putting that ending down in a completely different way than I’ve visualized. Or maybe in the exact way I’ve visualized. I don’t know. I just know it all has to be written, and I’m getting impatient with the thinking. Maybe Caro’s getting impatient. Maybe the Get Going! I’m hearing is from her, and she–as much as me–wants to start working out the mess puzzle that we’ve created so far.

I’m listening. All you pantsers out there, hear me and be proud, I’m joining your crowd. At least temporarily. And I’m being thankful that nobody has to read this yet.

Except my critique group.

I should probably send piles of chocolate along with these last chapters.

And keep writing.

Posted in Uncategorized

Friday Five: A Random Version

1. I’m meeting with a young writer today to talk about her novel. I’ve started reading it, and it’s fun, and I’m really looking forward to editing and brainstorming with her.  I’m also taking her a copy of my book, because she’s young and she’s clearly going to be a writer all her life, and it’s my decision that she should be know about critique groups.  Not to mention I will begin my indoctrination about joining SCBWI. Mwahaha!

2. I just read Deborah Underwood’s The Quiet Book. I know, I’m a bit behind, but I’ve been wanting to read it and then I found out that Deborah and I will be on an SCBWI critique panel at the end of this month , and then I really wanted to read it. And…wow. Honestly, I’m always hesitant about concept picture books, because I typically need story. Plus, I’d seen some of Renata Liwska’s incredible illustrations, and I knew that those were potentially powerful enough to take over from the prose. Nope. Yes, the art is amazing, but–honestly–so are the words. I read the words first, on purpose, and every single page evoked a sense for me–an emotion. Deborah hit the nail on the head every single time. Beautiful.

3. It’s cooled off. We actually just left the windows open last night, without running the so-loud fans. The car thermometer hit 117 degrees one afternoon this week, while son and I were sitting on an onramp waiting to get through the metering lights. I find it hard to even exist when it’s that hot. So yay for coastal fog and a light breeze.

4. There are colds in the house. Husband woke up with a slight sore throat and son is sneezing and sniffling. Medicine has been given, and I am crossing my fingers that the flu shot I got this week will magically transform into cold-protection. I may have to turn in to Lady MacBeth this weekend, to stay safe.

5. I have to go to the grocery store today. I went to the grocery store earlier this week. I’ll go to the grocery sometime at the start of next week. Am I having hallucinatory nostalgia, or did my mom manage to do a huge grocery run on the weekend & then stop for milk if we ran out during the week? And there were 5 of us then, to the 3 of us here. Was she just more organized (yes!) or more determined (less lazy) to really fill that fridge and freezer to the brim when she shopped (probably)?  Whatever it was, and as nice as the people at my grocery store are, I feel that I am way too familiar with that place. Do you ever find yourself wandering the aisles, “waiting” for something new and exciting and delicious and healthy and simple to cook to just pop out at you? Sigh. At least I’m remembering to bring in my reusable bags these days, and don’t have to ask the checker to “wait just a minute while I run out to the car.”

Happy Friday, everyone!

Posted in Character

Dear Character: With a Bow to Janni Simner*

*Janni Simner talks to her characters a lot. I’m pretty sure they talk back. Anyway, if you haven’t eavesdropped on the conversations yet, check out her blog Desert Dispatches.

And if you want to read my total theft of her posts and technique, read on.

Dear Character Who Told Me You Had this REALLY BIG PROBLEM in your life:

I’m thinking it’s not quite that big. Not just because I know nothing about how that REALLY BIG PROBLEM would feel. Not just because it makes me cringe to even think about reading and researching that REALLY BIG PROBLEM. Not just because you haven’t shown me one instance of that REALLY BIG PROBLEM anywhere in the first 3/4 of this draft. Not just because if I listen to you about having this REALLY BIG PROBLEM, it’s going to make another character–my hero–look like a total wimp and failure. Which she so isn’t.

Really it’s because, if I give you this REALLY BIG PROBLEM, it will take over the entire book. It will become the problem of the book. And this story has another problem to tell. Honest.

If I promise to keep my ears and heart open to the possibility of writing this REALLY BIG PROBLEM into another book someday, will you still play with me here and share what’s happening to you now?

Hopefully yours,

Me

Posted in Publishing

Monday Musings: In the Self-Publishing World, How Do We Identify “Ready”?

There’s so much talk going on around the blogosphere about e-books and self-publishing and the changes that are here and the changes that are coming that…well, it feels a bit overwhelming to even try and jump into the conversation. Then again, all that talk does get me/us thinking, and it’s a conversation that does need to be had, even if we don’t come to any major conclusions.

So, my thought for today is about how we, the writer, know when a story is “ready.”

I don’t believe that having a book accepted by an agent or an editor at a traditional publishing house is the only definition of ready. I’m not getting into the argument about whether these routes only produce “good” books or not. Obviously, there are books that were ready that also got turned down in this forum, for various reasons from taste to market needs, and that’s only happening more in this economy, I’d guess. I do think, however, that we can say there is and has always been a kind of validation for an author, if and when they get a yes from someone along this path. Someone who reads a lot, who knows the industry and the business and who, yes, loves books.

So many of us are talking about other routes today, seriously considering them–if not for this project, for the possibility of a future one. It’s kind of like the discussion about e-book readers: I don’t need one now, but I can definitely see a future when I’ll have one. I’m not ready to self-publish anything myself today, but I hear conversations about e-books for royalties only, and I think…hmm? I don’t know.

And the big thing I wonder about is: for all these writers who do decide to take this step, who take back the reins of the horse and release their own book–how do they know when it’s ready? How do they get the validation that what they’ve written and revised has reached that stage when their audience, if not a publisher, will say…oh, yeah!? (And reaching that audience–yet another discussion!)

For me, I think, there has to be one or more outside readers in the process. Yes, a critique group, obviously is the choice I would make, but, really, what I’m talking about is people who are less invested in your writing and your success than you are. People who are brave enough to dig deep into your story and talk to you about what isn’t working yet. People who are skilled enough to do that. And people who will be honest with you and say to you, “Not yet,” if that’s what they truly believe.

And there have to be multiple stages where you, with or without this kind of critique feedback, take your own work to pieces–big and small–and put it back together again. And again. And….again. You have to not only kill the darlings, but find them first and then figure out what to replace them with. You have to recognize the differences between each draft–see where things are getting better, then dive back in and work some more with the places that aren’t.

And then…what? What in this new world is going to take the place of that external, professional validation. Maybe the first self-publishers, the adventurous ones already taking those steps are braver than me about this, more self-confident. Maybe, as I said, I’ll get there–to a place where I have a gut-level I know about my own writing. I’m not sure. I’m not going to worry about it today. But I’m definitely curious.

Writers are not the only ones having this conversation. Agents and editors are tossing thoughts and questions and ideas about it all back and forth–I think this is a time more than ever before to be reading their blogs and, if you can do it, stepping out onto Twitter to see what they’re saying to each other. Listen to them at conferences. I’ve heard some people wonder if the professionals who are really excited and enthused about the changes aren’t also a bit naive. Maybe. But I’m telling you–if there were two agents asking to sign me, and–with everything else equal–one of them was “naively” jumping into whatever this all is and the other was reluctantly tagging along, even resisting–I know which one I’d be talking to most.

Perspectives? Opinions?

Where do you see yourself on this path? In what situation might you consider self-publishing? Would you choose print publishing or e-book publishing or both? And what other questions are you musing over yourself? Jump into the comments with your ideas.

Posted in Writing Books

Friday Five: Favorite Writing Books

I’ve written about some of these books here, but it felt like time to just toss up a list. As of today, and in no particular order, these are my top 5 books on the craft of writing. If you’ve got some other favorites, add them to the comments, where everybody can see!

I have to mention one other book, which I haven’t actually read yet, but which I have on order–after listening to Merrily Kutner explain the diagramming method for picture books that the author teaches.  I’m pretty sure I’m going to seriously love  Eve Heidi Bine-Stock’s How to Write a Children’s Picture Book, Volume I: Structure. I’m pretty sure I’m going to like Volumes II and III, too, but I’m going one at a time for now!

Posted in Uncategorized

Getting Back to the Calendar

Here’s what I thought would happen once school started. I’d have 6-8 hours a day of just-writing time. You know, because high school would be so easy and straightforward and life, with all its complications and responsibilities and tasks would somehow magically take care of itself.

Um. Yeah.

Let me just say that the past few weeks have felt just a tad scrambled and random and disorganized and—okay,yes, productive in many ways, but not for my writing and not with a high degree of calm, relaxed, sanity.

Which, I reminded myself this morning, means it’s time for my calendar. It’s time to schedule my writing and to fit some planned time in for all that other life-stuff, too.

Here’s how it works, when I remember to do it. The first thing I schedule for the morning, in writing, or–these days–on my Blackberry-is the writing. I take up an hour slot on the day’s calendar, or if I’m being nice and generous, an hour and a half. Sometimes, when I first get back to this “system,” I have to fight the feeling that I’m only dedicating a small piece of the day to the thing I love most. Of course, then I think about the past week or two or…you know, and I realize that’s way more than I’ve been giving to my writing. I schedule this time for a few days, up to a week ahead–basically as far as I can look forward and know what life will be like. Supposedly, anyway.

For the rest of the day’s time, I think about what else I have to do. Sometimes I have an editing job or some freelance writing to fit in. Other times, like now, I feel a serious need to get in some solid exercise–another thing that typically goes missing when my life chooses the haywire path, so I make sure I get some of that down, in writing. This month, it’s paperwork–all the lovely financial-management joys that skulk in corners and make sneering nyah-nyah noises when I try and hide from them for too long.

Writing, exercise, paperwork.

I don’t know about you, but that’s plenty for me to fit into a day, along with, you know, spending time with my family, helping my son ride that school roller-coaster, keeping the house and food supplies in some semblance of order, and–lest we forget–reading.

I’m getting a bit freaked out again just looking at this post.

Breathe.

Okay.

I know this works. As long as I write it down. I might not be speeding along, but I’ll be making progress. And that’s really what it’s all about.

PJ Hoover uses her own very special time-management tools. If you haven’t seen her fun video yet, take a look here. And enjoy the calm.

Posted in Uncategorized

Laurie Halse Anderson’s SPEAK

I’ve gone back & forth on whether to weigh in on this, thinking that there are so many people speaking eloquently that maybe my two cents will just be extra. But then that creates silence, at least on my part, and this is the whole problem.

If you haven’t seen what’s up, check out Laurie’s post here about what’s happening with her wonderful book Speak.

As I said, I don’t really know what more I can say that isn’t already being talked about, but for what it’s worth…

I am, as you could probably guess, vehemently against any kind of censorship or book banning. And I don’t care how much quibbling people do about semantics and meaning, when you tell a school they cannot teach a book, when you tell kids they cannot read & learn about that book in their school, when you forbid a librarian from carrying that book on their shelves–that’s censorship. There is no situation in which I find this kind of thing acceptable.

That said, I have a special feeling about Speak. As for many people whose tweets & posts I’ve been reading, Speak was perhaps my first intro into the brilliance of YA writing. I was reviewing books for the Horn Book Guide, and Speak showed up in one of the first boxes I was sent. I opened it, read, and was blown away. Years later, I had the same reaction when I read Wintergirls, also by Anderson, which I bought on purpose because her writing is so incredible.

Both books shocked me, stunned me, pained me. I do a great deal of reading while I eat, and if you think it wasn’t hard to read Wintergirls during a meal or a snack, without staring at the food on my plate, thinking about my attempts to eat healthily and lose weight, dig far into self-examination of my feelings and motives and behavior, well–think again. Anderson is too great a writer to deal with any of these topics and not make you hurt while you read them. To be honest, Wintergirls is a book I would talk to any parent-friend about if/as I recommended it for their child; I would urge them to read it as well & to try and create an opportunity to discuss it with their child, to–at the very least–stay open and aware to what was going on for their child as he or she read it. Because it’s scary.

It’s also real. And it should be read. And shared.

The same is true for Speak, which–again, if you haven’t read it–is about a girl who stays silent because of and about being raped. Rape that this man from Missouri (I really hate to even give him the validation of typing his name here) is calling porn. Sick? Oh, yeah. What’s sicker? That he’s trying to stop kids and teachers from reading the book together and talking about it.

I saw, after I first posted this blog, that Sarah Okler’s Twenty Boy Summer is also on his list. Here’s Sarah’s take on things. Twenty Boy Summer is another book I read and liked and that, in no way, fits the description this man is trying to apply to it. Ack!  I honestly can’t remember whether Slaughterhouse Five, his other target, was one of the titles I read in my Vonnegut phase, but I think you all can guess, by now, how I feel about trying to ban it–no matter whether it passed across my reading plate or not. (And if you want to roll on the floor laughing, do read my favorite story by Vonnegut–“The Euphio Question” in Welcome to the Monkey House.)

Anyway…when I was in high school, many years ago, our English teacher was told he couldn’t teach us Robert Cormier’s The Chocolate War. A board member came to speak with us, at another teacher’s request, and told us that this wasn’t censorship. I can still remember the absolute fury I felt at what I was sure was a flat-out lie. In hindsight, perhaps she was just eyeball-deep in denial, but that’s another kind of lie, and I still feel angry at her for forcing her lie onto our reading, our choices. I feel that same anger today.

So many people have made this statement in the past few days, but it’s worth repeating. I will allow you the right to have some say in what your own child reads. I will admit that there have been times in the past when I have skimmed/skipped portions of a book that I was reading to my son–some racist passages in older stories that I was just too unhappy about and uncomfortable to read out loud to him. Was this a good choice? I don’t know. Did I try, whenever I could, to read the passage and talk to him about it? Yes, I did. I wasn’t always successful in pushing myself that far. Do I pay attention to what he reads these days, at fourteen? Yes, I do. Do I try to read many of the books he’s reading–I do, for my own knowledge and entertainment, and to just…stay aware. So, yes, you have the right to do this with your children. You do NOT have the right to do it for my child, or anyone else’s children than your own. And I will Speak Loudly against you for trying.

As I said, people are blogging about this a lot, and you can follow the Twitter thread at #SpeakLoudly. Don’t know if what I’ve written is a contribution or not, but it was clearly something I needed to say.

Posted in Uncategorized

Friday Five: Road-Trip

This morning, I drop my son at school and hit the road to San Luis Obispo for the Central Coast Writers’ Conference. I’m really looking forward to it. I love writing conferences, I get to workshop with teens, and I do love–every now & then-getting in my car and  just…driving.

Anyway, here’s what I’ll be doing today.

1. Driving down California’s Highway 101 through Steinbeck country and farmland and vineyards. I’ll be listening to NPR and KFOG until my radio reception goes out, but by then I’ll have stopped somewhere for a caramel machiato and won’t have any problem staying awake.

2. Drive past the conference site, down to Arroyo Grande–my hometown–and meeting an online friend for lunch.  Sherrie Petersen and I have been chatting online for a couple of years now–we’ve shared some critiques, swapped book titles, and commented on each others’ blogs. Sherrie’s coming up to AG to meet me, and it’s going to be great to finally say “hi” in person.

3. Head back up to Morro Bay, where I’m staying here for the weekend. Oh, yeah, I’ll be comfy and relaxed.

4. For the rest of the afternoon, I’ll either a) crash in the luxury of an hour or two of reading with no responsibilities or distractions or b) pop in my mp3 earplugs and go for a walk.

5. Get myself over to the conference for check-in, photos, refreshments, and the evening workshops. I’m not “on” until the next morning, so Friday night is for playing.

Hope everybody has a great weekend, and I’ll be back and blogging next week–same Bat time, same Bat channel.

Posted in Uncategorized

Decorating MC’s Room, Part II: Discovery

I’ve heard from other writers (the more artisty types) that when they go to think about what’s in a character’s purse or pocket, they find a surprise or two–something they’d never thought of as being part of who that character is. So I was kind of expecting a surprise–for Caro to sneak up behind me as I browsed through online photos from her century, her decade, looking for ways to fill her bedroom on paper and in my mind.

I’m not sure if that’s what happened. Or if the room I’ve ended up with is actually just the result of my limited artistic abilities. Either way, I have to say the experience–the process–has been pretty cool. Here’s how things went.

Yesterday, after finishing up my prep for the conference this weekend, I started looking for pictures of furniture from 1913. This is trickier than it sounds–I actually stuck 1910 into my google search, and I tried lots of variants on furniture, furnishings, “girls’ bedroom furniture”–things like that. I ended up with a lot of hits for stuff from Gustav Stickley and his Craftsman style furniture. Which was cool–our house is kind of a mish-mash of various craftsman styles, all through the interpretation of the man who built it for himself almost 100 years ago, and so we do know about Stickley, and we love his stuff. But…I’m pretty sure Caro’s family was not furnishing their home with the modern-at-the time, expensive furniture he was building. So I ended up just going with some stuff that looked “old” to me and basically picked out a bed, a mirrored dresser, a student desk, a bookshelf, and a rag rug. I’d been thinking that if I had the patience and talent, it would be cool to print it out all in black-and-white and then wash various bright colors over it–because Caro is struggling to reconcile her dreams about the wider world of modern Chicago with the tight boundaries of the world her mother has created in their home. But…the work and the skills needed for that felt a bit overwhelming. My goal was for this to be done before I leave for the conference, not to be left for me to work on when I get back–that’s when I’m going to dig into actual writing again!

So I decided to let my printer do the work for me. I did print out all the basics in black & white, but then I went for a second layer of things in color. I picked out the perfect quilt for Caro–in a light burgundy with blues and silvers–to go onto the plain bed. I left the rag rug in color–figuring this was something that she made as a school project & worked on with her grandmother’s help. I filled the bland, boring bookshelves with books in bright colors. This was fun–it made me think so much about what Caro’s struggling to do, to keep herself interested in all the life “out there,” while her mother pulls at her to stay in the narrow, safe world of their home. And I think, when I hang this collage in front of my workspace, it’ll remind me of that struggle as I write–and of the difference between Caro’s personal energy and the dull darkness of her home. Just to give you a taste of how that looks, here’s Caro’s camera–a 1910 Brownie–on her desk.

There were a couple of magic moments. Photography is becoming increasingly important to my story, as I work through the first draft, thanks to a suggestion from one of my critique partners. Somewhere in Caro’s room, her real room, a photograph is tucked away–one from the past that will (if I can make all this work) play a huge role in the changes she will need to make. At the same time, Caro is actively involved in modern photography, having taken classes for a while, helping out a teacher of photography at Hull House, and just recently getting her own camera. So I was looking for an old photograph that I could–I didn’t know, maybe glue UNDER something in the room–to be hidden like she’ll need it to be, but that she and I would know was there.

Instead, I thought of that dresser with the mirror–the mirror Caro’s mother would have made sure was in Caro’s room, so that she can check on how she looks, get ready for spending time with young men, all the girl-on-the-path-toward-marriage stuff. And of course, I knew, in a flash that Caro doesn’t use the mirror for that. Instead, she covers the mirror with the photographs she’s been taking. I’ll be attaching photos of Chicago landmarks to Caro’s mirror this afternoon.

And then I’ll be putting the whole collage together–using a lot of other photos to kind of connect the whole room, to add a layer of the book’s story threads onto the physical furnishings of Caro’s room. Here are some of the photos I collected:

  • Jane Addams-by herself and with the children she did so much for
  • Ida B. Wells–I wasn’t able to find any actual old photos except for those I’ve seen on book covers, but I did come across a few that I hadn’t seen, and I grabbed those.
  • Suffrage marchers.
  • Immigrant children and families in the tenements.
  • Sisters who look a lot alike. These connect up with an important piece of back story will be one of the big threads I need to weave into Draft 2.
  • Mothers and daughters. I think, ultimately, this is what Caro’s story will be about, and I wanted portraits that somehow showed the difference in generations, or the differences in dark fear and bright life between the two women. For these photos and for those of the sisters, I let myself step completely out of the 1910s and out of the U.S., just looking for women who made me think about the personalities and threads I need to remember and develop as I write and revise.

Does Caro like her room? I’m not sure. I think she likes that I haven’t left her to the boring gloom her mother would have her live in, and I think the spots of color are definitely her doing. In truth, though, I was decorating this room for me–not for Caro, and the exercise has–as I was hoping–brought story elements closer to the surface for me, has given me something that will remind me to keep the tension, the conflict, and the importance of what Caro is trying to do in the front of my mind as I work.

And maybe, every now and then, we all need to spend some time with our scissors and glue sticks.

Posted in Uncategorized

Me to MC: Let’s Decorate

It’s been too long since I worked on my novel. In terms of actual writing–August was great & productive, with getting the synopsis written & filling in some gaps in the middle. And I’ve been doing some more reading–trying to connect with Ida B. Wells and get close to what it is about her that inspires me and needs to inspire Caro. And I won’t have much time this week to really focus in, because I’ll be getting ready to head down to San Luis Obispo to talk at the Central Coast Writers’ Conference.

With the “writing” time I will have, I’ve decided to play. Caro and I are going to decorate her room.

This should be interesting. My visual-art talents are pretty much limited to drawing stick figures–really simple stick figures. If you read Susan Taylor Brown’s blog, you may have seen some of the art collage work she’s doing–here’s her page on Flikr to really look at the beautiful pages she’s created. Anyway, I do NOT have aspirations to this level, but it has gotten me thinking. I may do some searches for furniture around 1910, print some of them out, and do the more basic-level, think-first-grade kind of collage. I’m picturing printing everything in black & white, then maybe washing some colors over it (like I know what that means or even how to do it quickly and easily!).

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about what I need to furnish & decorate Caro’s room. I want, somehow, to catch the period and her personality–the contrasts between the way her mother will have set up the room when Caro was younger and the layers Caro has added as she gets older, the things that contrast and conflict with the original feel & look. So I’m picturing some pretty sturdy, long-lasting furniture, but with bright and cheerful colors–which may be where the wash comes in. And I think whatever I put on top of things will be important–the blanket on top of the bed, the items–necessaries and extras–on top of the dresser, the books on the shelves. Underneath becomes critical, too–what is Caro hiding away, from her brothers and, most importantly, from her mother? There’s a photograph somewhere, that I think was originally Mama’s, but which Caro now has–without her mother realizing it’s “gone.” There’s a place that Caro’s little brother sits when he visits, and something her older brother fiddles with when he shows up. And there’s probably a scuff on the floor where her father stands, just inside the door, because he’d rather talk with Caro downstairs, in their shop, then in a place where she’s growing into a young woman he doesn’t quite understand.

I’ve heard authors talk about figuring out what’s in a character’s pocket, or purse, and I think I probably need that, too. For some reason, though, it’s starting to feel as if Caro’s room is what’s critical here. When she steps out of that room and into the rest of the house, she walks into the control of her mother, and that world isn’t great for asserting any individuality. When she pushes through that space to outside, into Chicago, she’s venturing further and further from what she knows–loving it, but also having the bigger world threaten her edges. So her room, I think, will be the last spot where she actually knows who she is, and even that is changing on a daily basis.

Where does your hero live? Does he or she have a space that is truly theirs? And what’s in it? What’s on display for anyone to see, and what’s tucked away? Have you thought about decorating lately?