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Revision Status: At that Not-So-Much Love Place

Posted on by beckylevine

So I sent one picture-book revision off to the critique group and got back some great feedback. (As per usual.) That picture book and one other are pretty much at the word-choosing, fixing, and-maybe-someday-polishing stage. I have one more pb that I want to bring up to that point, too. Then I will sit with them all and bring up to yet the next level. But I want to get the major revisions on all three books done and behind me.

catch a star

Hey, I can dream.

Anyhoo….

I sat, and I thought. And I sat, and I thought. And I got an idea. And I typed the idea and thought some more and typed some more. I asked myself questions. I typed some possible answers. I saw a path. I started thinking in threes. I got some threes. I looked at the notes file, and I saw that it was good, and I moved onto the actual next draft.

I wrote. Fast. Top speed.

bombI know. I should have seen it coming.

I think the idea is still sound. I think the basic threes are still valid. They’re not the problem.

It’s the words.

I love writing. I really do. And I know I can make this better. I will make this better. All I can say is, though, it’s a good thing today isn’t Valentine’s Day. Because this is one story that wouldn’t be getting any chocolates from me.

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Friday Five Valentine’s Day Edition: Five Things I Love This Week

Posted on by beckylevine

Why not, right?

So 5 things I loved this week.

  • My husband and son for being my Valentines whether or not they admit, accept, or enjoy it. I don’t think they’ll turn down the chocolate.
  • My cat, whose eyes pretty much light up like flashing, neon ***LAP*** signs when she sees me sit down on the couch.
  • My critique partners, who have been one of the most important pieces of my life for anywhere between ten and, OMG, almost TWENTY YEARS.
  • People who are living through, like…the WORST winter of their lives and aren’t throwing any hate at California. At least, you know, not on Facebook where I can see it.
  • Everybody who has ever written a book that they thought they were either writing for someone else or were sending out into a big world of unknown readers, and whose book ended in my hands, touching my heard and brain, and–really–being just for me. Or who is writing that book now. You know who you are.

heartkey

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Revision Progress

Posted on by beckylevine

In January, I wrote a review of Jeannine Atkins’ Views from a Window Seat and talked about how motivated I was to turn back toward my picture book revisions. I was so inspired from reading about Jeannine’s focus on sitting with a story, with its characters and its words, all at different stages but always with the same sense of giving the story time and room to reveal itself.

As I get back into my revisions, I’ve been working (hard) to stay with that inspiration, to remember how I want to do this. I’ve pushed away self-criticisms of how long I’ve been working on each of these stories. I’ve stuck in metaphorical earplugs to shut out the noisy thoughts of how much longer I might still be working on them. I’ve (tried to) put a lid on all the fantasies about what will happen when I do get them done. And I’ve spent a lot of time in non-story files, typing in thoughts as they occurred to me, listing questions for which I didn’t yet have answers, and then just thinking about those thoughts and questions.

Yesterday, while I was working on one of the revisions, actually at the point where I was changing words and sentences around, pulling the threads of the action and dialogue a little closer around the theme/purpose/point whatever, I heard a small, but solid thump. And I looked at what I had left to do in that revision, at least before I sent it off to my critique group for the nth time, and it was a lot less than I’d thought. Things had, without my realizing it, become more connected and cohesive. The pieces of the story had moved themselves into the right spots, and the characters had picked some good things to do and say. I had, with so much less agony and stress (not with less time or work!), come to the next “ready” place. Off went the critique.

And this morning, I picked up my folder for one of other picture books in the revision pile. It has been several weeks, at least, since I’ve looked at this one, and the first thing I did was read through the latest comments from my critique group. I didn’t open my laptop, not at first. I just read the comments. And suggestions I remember shaking my head at and feeling skeptical about suddenly made SO MUCH SENSE. I had been approaching the story, yet again, with some fear, but because I let myself start slowly and just get reacquainted with the critique comments, laptop unopened, no pen in hand, something else went thump. In a nice way.

This time, it was almost easy not to immediately open the story file. I started a new file called  something like “What to Do With…” and I put in the two most important words that came through to me from the critique. I typed in a couple of questions, then a couple of ideas. Not really even possibilities yet. Just ideas. Thoughts. More to sit with.

Oh, of course, the other voices are still there, talking at me about mythical life deadlines, goals, self-esteem, productivity. But they’re clamoring a little less loudly, their vehemence softened, I think, by my going with Jeannine’s reminder–the reminder that we’re here because we choose to be. We are touching down with a story because at least that little bit in love with a character or a plot twist and because we want to see what we can do with it. Why run away from it? Or rush through it?

Yes, the tortoise eventually won the race. But I think he also enjoyed the feel of the ground under his feet, the sunshine on his shell, and all the sounds and smells of his journey.

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My Indiscriminating Cat

Posted on by beckylevine

Keep moving, keep moving. No big writing discussion or process theories here today. Just a quick little post about, yes…Alice.

As a kid, I remember that we couldn’t leave food out on the counters, or one of the cats would get to it. But, since I’ve “grown up,” my cats have been amazingly non-food-grabby. I’m not saying that the roast chicken smell wouldn’t bring them running, or that their tails didn’t quiver if I opened a can of tuna. In general, though, baked goods were safe, and it was no big deal if the dishes didn’t get moved into the dishwasher before we went to bed.

And then came Alice. Overall, she is a smart little cat. (How do I know that? Well, sure, it’s based on the fact that she loves us and wants to spend time with us and hasn’t yet run (hard) into too many walls chasing the laser pointer. But still…) There are just a couple of things…Like she walks across the front of the stove top. A propane stove. With open pilot flames. She did this once when the kettle was on, with a full flame burning under it. Call it bravery, if you will, but I thought all cats came from the factory with more sense.

And then there’s the food.

  • She jumps on the counter to get her face into her cat food before you’re ready to put it down, either in the bowl, the can, or the spoon.
  • She licks at plates we leave on the counter.
  • She puts her face and whole body into the sink to investigate what’s there.

So far, I  know, pretty cat-normal, if slightly aggravating. The kind of thing you could say to yourself, okay, sure, these would be good cat edibles in the wild.

The other day, though, I caught her licking the beaters from the electric mixer. Which I had been using for…

GLUTEN-FREE BREAD MIX.

Oh, yeah. Because every wild cat LOVES flour and water and butter and egg.

My new kitty and all her charms! I feel like I could start a blog, a la Jo Knowles’ THINGS WE PUT ON FRED. Only we’d call ours, THINGS ALICE STICKS HER NOSE INTO.

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VIEWS FROM A WINDOW SEAT: We Have a Winner!

Posted on by beckylevine

Thank you to everybody who stopped by to check out my thoughts on Jeannine Atkins’ new writing book, Views from a Window Seat. Thank you especially to everyone who entered the drawing.

The lucky winner, this time around is…

Beth Stilborn!

Beth, send me a note at beckylevine at ymail dot com, and I’ll get the book to you!

Congratulations!

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Giveaway: Jeannine Atkins’ VIEWS FROM A WINDOW SEAT

Posted on by beckylevine

If you’re on Facebook with me, you  may have seen me posting a quote here and there from Jeannine Atkins‘ new writing book, Views from a Window Seat: Thoughts on Writing and Life. I’ve been posting the phrases and sentences because Jeannine’s writing is just so lovely, it goes in your ears, touches your heart, and then pretty much demands to be shared. This is true of every book of Jeannine’s I’ve read, but seems to be especially true–for me, at least–of Views. 

Disclaimer: Jeannine has been an online friend for many years, and her blog–the source of the pieces in Views–was one of the first I started reading. Take that away, and I would still be raving about her book and recommending it to any and all writers. For the reasons I’m going to talk about here.

For me, this collection of blog posts, or essays, that Jeannine has given us is a message of hope. I know, I know, that sounds mushy, and mushy (at least spoken out loud) is something I try to avoid. Except when…it’s true. Writing is hard. I thought I knew that when I was younger, and even a self-awarded label of “good” was so far down the line. As I get older, as I feel I have actually–here and there– achieved “good,” the writing doesn’t get any easier. (Did I think it would? I think I thought it would!) There are days when the drive to just finish something juggles itself with the desire to just write, and too often the juggling turns to pushing and pushing back, and I make no progress on either side of the battle. What Jeannine reminds me, in every piece, in just about every sentence of Views is that 1) I’m not the only writer feeling this way, 2) It’s all part of the process, and 3) It’s okay. Or if it’s not okay, at any given moment, it’s what we’ve got so we’d better deal with it. Here’s one of the sentences I highlighted as I read through the book.

          Wishing I were the kind of writer who didn’t have to backtrack, draw zig-zagging arrows, and stumble into a plot may be as futile as wishing to be a foot taller or shorter.

Oh, yeah.

Another line:

Sometimes we have to be at the well rather than just worry about filling it.

Being at the well, without worry, is very possibly the toughest challenge we all face, both in writing and in life. The thing is, though, that, first, this book is not Jeannine preaching at or even instructing us. It’s Jeannine gently reminding herself and–if we care to listen–ourselves about the truths of writing. At the root of which is that this is a thing we do out of love, and from necessity. And that, while of course we wish it were simpler and more straightforward, if we don’t give ourselves over to the quiet and the waiting and the seeing what comes, we’re not only fighting a losing battle, we’re spending way too much time fighting, period. And we’re setting ourselves up to miss out on the wonder and magic that can happen.

Which is where the hope lives.

As I said, Views from a Window Seat demands to be shared. Which is why I’m giving away a signed copy to one lucky winner. Just leave a comment in the post (make sure you include your name and an email at which I can contact you) by next Monday night (January 13th), and I’ll draw a name and post the winner on Tuesday the 14th.

Heads up: Melodye Shore is offering another chance to win a copy of Jeannine’s book, plus a $25 price reduction to Candles in the Window writing and yoga retreat, at which Jeannine will be present as faculty. Leave a comment at Melodye’s blog here to enter (and/or follow other steps for more chances)!

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Review: I DARE YOU NOT TO YAWN

Posted on by beckylevine

I dare you not to love it. Okay, yes, that was a cheap play on the title of Hélène Boudreau and Serge Bloch’s picture book, I Dare You Not to Yawn, but it’s true. And I’m going to tell you why, or at least why I loved it.

But first, here’s your warning:

Basically, I can’t tell you why I like this book without telling you what I like. So here goes.

I’ve been wanting to read this book for a while, because I love the premise. We all know  how hard it is not to yawn once you get started, and we all know that–as Boudreau’s little hero says, “Yawns are like colds. They spread!” What I hadn’t thought about, but what Boudreau did, is that yawning could have a consequence. And the consequence she chose is what makes this book special, what makes it totally about and for children. (Okay, for me, too, but you know what I mean.)

If you yawn, AND HERE’S YOUR SPOILER, someone will decide that it’s your bedtime.  Ack! When this disaster strikes, the narrative and the illustration combine to capture the child we all know, the one that cannot believe what the adult world is handing him. Seriously?! One little yawn?! Beautiful.

And then…MORE SPOILERS! Boudreau amps up the story. She absolute rocks the concrete detail throughout the book, from the specific activities that a yawn can interrupt (“dressing up the cat”) to all the pieces that make up a single yawn (“your eyes squish tight”) to the steps along the path to lights-out time (“sleepy-time songs”).  And this is just in the first part of the book. In the second, she brings in an entirely new layer of tension: all the “threats” of bedtime become irresistible temptations: “huggable stuffed animals, soft cozy pajamas…”  So, while the little boy still doesn’t want to go to bed and still fights the yawns with all his power, we can see his resistance weakening and–as with only the best stories–we are right there with him every second.

And the ending…Ha! Got you. You thought, with all the spoilers I’ve included so far, I was going to tell you how things turn out. NOT. All I want to say is that Boudreau made the brilliant choice of letting the art carry the final moment. I am totally a word person, and the whole way through, I was thinking, how is she going to do this? What is she going to write to tie things up as neatly as she needs to. I am not usually a proponent of the 1 picture = 1,000 words theory, but in this case? Oh, yeah.

So, you know, despite all the things I did tell you about I Dare You Not to Yawn, there are so many more that I didn’t. So go out, get yourself a copy, and fall in love for yourself.

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My 2014 Theme: Staying Open

Posted on by beckylevine

Laura Purdie Salas started me on this a few years ago–each year, she sets a theme for her year, rather than making a list of resolutions. I love this, possibly because I hate resolutions, but also because I think it makes a nice turning of the calendar page. Not what do I want to DO this year, but how do I want to be. And I think that picking a theme kind of gives a nod to the past year, maybe things I learned about myself or about life in general.

This year, I think that’s true. I have certainly spent more time meditating this past year than ever before and more time trying to be okay with the fact that I can’t control all the things I would like to control. Maybe even thinking that, actually, I wouldn’t like to control them–because controlling, even when you manage it, takes up so much energy and creates so much stress. So I could make this year about letting go. Or I could, as I’ve been thinking the past few days, make it about embracing and welcoming change.

Because here’s the thing about 2014: Lots of change coming. Assuming multiple creeks don’t rise, here’s what’s in the forecast for us.

  • The boy will choose and start attending some college.
  • The husband and I, starting in Autumn, will essentially be a twosome again. Well, okay, a twosome plus a cat and a bird. While I think we’ll be more than okay, and we’ve always enjoyed being a twosome before, there’s no question things will be…different than the last time.
  • I will get a new job somewhere and work full-time again.
  • I will try to avoid/balance the conflict that sometimes arises between the writing I want to do and the writing I want to have done.
  • I will start exercising a body that, while it seems to be less injured than it was a month ago, will no doubt take continued attention and gentleness.

This past week, I’ve been feeling pretty good about all these things, even the college part, because the boy seems to be ready to take this next step. So, yes, I could go with Embrace Change or Welcome Change. But even those themes feel a bit…controlling.

So I’m going with Staying Open. I mean, look at that list. Every single item on it could go so many different ways. Obviously, I’m hoping for happy ways and I certainly don’t want to think too much about negatives. But if I were even to start writing all the good things that could happen to the boy in terms of college, I’d be writing down a huge range of possibilities. And while I’m excited about all this change today, I’m sure there will be days when it feels like it’s happening too fast, or turning a corner I wouldn’t have chosen. I’m not sure whether I’m not ready to actively embrace all that, or whether it might actually be a mistake to turn away from feelings that don’t necessarily meet happy-dancing standards.

So this year, I’ll be trying to observe what happens and how I respond to it and how my responses fade and change. And choosing to allow all the events and feelings and try not to cling too strongly to them or push them away with too much anger. I don’t expect to get even close to perfection. But the theme, as I understand it from Laura’s posts, is about how we’d like to be, a way we’d like to live. And this seems like a year of changes to which I’d like to stay open.

Are you picking a theme for this year? I’d love to hear about it? Or, if you really love resolutions, pop those into the comments, too.

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Steamrolling Toward 2014

Posted on by beckylevine

A couple of months ago, I said to myself, “You really have to clean out your office.” Yes, a couple of months ago. And until yesterday, that “have to” hadn’t added up to doing anything. Even with all the motivation of reading Kelly Fineman’s posts about cleaning out her entire house.

Yesterday, it hit. After a week of prepping for Xmas and doing the whole holiday tidy, cook, and putter thing, I had apparently had enough of moving slowly and leisurely through life. I guess it dawned on me that we are less than seven days away from 2014, and I don’t want to enter that new year with…clutter. I get this way every now and then. It’s not the hidden mess that gets to me–the files behind closed doors that I know need to be purged, the extra office supplies tucked away where I can’t see them. It’s the piles. The shelves that don’t have room for a new book (or a new Xmas-present plush Tardis that lights up and makes that awesome parking-brake-is-still-on noise). The corners where you shove tuck all the things you don’t have a place for, and you tell yourself they’re out of the way, not taking up floor space, not getting in your way of doing anything.

Except they do. When you walk into your office/writing space, and there’s the slight sensation that even one of our smaller California earthquakes might send things tumbling around you, when things just look two crowded, too sloppy, too full, then it does–I believe–affect how well you get things done. And in 2014, I have things to get done. I’ve got a son to support in the last steps of the first steps of his college journey. I’ve got several writing projects that need to reach Done and get out the door and on their way to Actual Possibility. And I’ve got a new job to find. When January lands, I want to step into it with shiny, sleek rollerblades (you know, the ones that don’t go TOO fast, that have a really good braking system, and that won’t send me crashing into some cement wall somewhere), and..GO.

So, yesterday, I took two hours. I pulled down all the CDs, sorted into “want” and “don’t want,” and started ripping. I will have two bags of them to sell at the used book/music store. I re-organized and purged and created the magic of three empty file drawers.

Well, almost empty!

alicedrawer

I took the pile of old totes and bags that are too shredded and disgusting to go out in public anymore, got rid of them, and replaced them all with the lovely totebag of literary quotes that my sister got me for Xmas. With the library books in it that need to go back next week. I started a Goodwill pile. I started a bag of books to go along with the CDs, which I will continue to add to today. And I am still ripping CDs.

I know it’s not Spring, but it’s the end of the year. For me, it’s not always about resolutions for the future, but sometimes about a clearing out of the past. 2013 has been a good year in so many ways, an interesting year in others. But it’s almost done, and there’s a new one on the way. I want to be ready for it.

Happy Almost New Year, Everybody! What’s on your get-done agenda for the next few days?

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Celebrate with Jen Robinson

Posted on by beckylevine

Today, at her book page, Jen Robinson talks about the fact that she’s now been blogging for eight years. Hard to believe, but then I also can’t believe that her little girl, “Baby Bookworm,” is so clearly not a baby anymore or that my son, for whom I have used Jen’s page as a great book resources, is heading to college next year. But, yes, okay, sure, it’s been eight years.

This is just a quick post to celebrate Jen and her blog. Jen’s Book Page was one of the first I found when I started reading blogs. Even though, as she says, Jen chose an engineering path and I totally did the English major-Victorian novels-lots of papers route, I connected with Jen over the fact that, as adults, we both still read kids books. A lot. Possibly even the majority of the time. Without a touch of embarrassment. And her passion about and commitment to getting kids reading and sharing the best kidlit with adult readers struck home for me, in a huge way. Jen has also led me to the Cybils awards site, from which I pretty much build my year’s reading list and where I return whenever I run out of something to ready (yes, it happens) or am stuck trying to find a book to gift. And I’m pretty sure Jen is the reason I started blogging, because–if I remember correctly–it was while I was leaving a comment on one of her posts that I thought, “Wow. This is a really long comment. This comment is practically as long as an actual blog post. Hmm. Maybe I should…”

Jen’s reviews are thorough, intelligent, and just detailed enough to get you intrigued without dropping any spoilers. She’s honest about her reaction to a book, sharing what she sees as pluses and minuses. In her post, she mentions the “reviews” she’s written about the books her daughter loves, even when Jen doesn’t always agree. I’m loving these posts, partially because they really show how kids’ tastes can differ from ours, but also because Jen’s thoughts so reflect what all parents go through, who–in trying to pass on their love of books–hit little heffalump traps along the way.

I’m pretty sure that everybody who reads my blog reads Jen’s, but in case you haven’t actually dropped in there yet, do. You’ll be welcomed into a wonderful world of books and reading. And stop by to tell Jen congratulations!

Happy Anniversary, Jen!