Congratulations to Joyce Moyer Hostetter, whose books I LOVE, for winning the giveaway at Carol Baldwin’s guest post. I’ll be sending Joyce a copy of my book, The Writing & Critique Group Survival Guide.
Congratulations to Joyce Moyer Hostetter, whose books I LOVE, for winning the giveaway at Carol Baldwin’s guest post. I’ll be sending Joyce a copy of my book, The Writing & Critique Group Survival Guide.
Carol Baldwin is the first in my monthly series of guest bloggers talking about critiquing. Carol’s most recent book is Teaching the Story: Fiction Writing in Grades 4-8 (Maupin House, 2008). She has coordinated an SCBWI critique group for over 15 years, blogs at www.carolbaldwinblog.blogspot.com, and is writing her first young adult novel. The three Gs in her life are gardening, grandchildren, and learning how to golf.
Read through Carol’s great post to see all the steps critiques can take you along. Take the time to leave a comment on the post. As with all the posts in this series, I’ll be picking one commenter to win a copy of my book, The Writing & Critique Group Survival Guide. Enter by Monday for a chance to win. Make sure you leave contact info in the comment, so I can get hold of you!
And…here’s Carol!
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When someone asks why I decided to write about two girls in Charlotte in 1950—one white and another light-skinned black—I tell them it’s a long story. A story full of critiques, re-vision, and rewriting.
Half-Truths started as a picture book. About 15 years ago, I visited Wing Haven, a bird sanctuary in Myers Park, NC. The garden’s history is full of stories about animals which the founder, Mrs. Clarkson, rehabilitated. When I visited I thought, Someone should write a picture book about this place! I tried, but there were too many stories to fit into (what was then the acceptable) 2000 word limit.

Since the market wouldn’t support my original idea, I re-visioned the story. The new book would be a fictionalized account of Mrs. Clarkson rehabilitating a baby robin. I created a young boy protagonist to make it a “boy book.” When I shared the idea with my son-in-law he scoffed, “Boys aren’t going to read a story about a bird! They want blood and guts!”
His off-the-cuff “critique” made me consider my audience. Maybe this was a girl story? I started playing with different ideas.
At that time, I met Joyce Hostetter and read BLUE. She repeated the advice that Carolyn Yoder gave her: “Look for the story in your own backyard.” Although I had moved to Charlotte, N.C. 22 years earlier, I began observing many instances of the same last name belonging to both blacks and whites. What was the connection?
As I looked at pictures of light-skinned African Americans and listened to local stories the seed of my story started to root.

Since I’m a transplanted Yankee writing a Southern story, I surfed the Internet hoping to figure out how my characters spoke “Southern.” The result was a disaster. A member of my SCBWI critique group, Miriam Franklin, read one of those first attempts and said, “No character in Myers Park talked like that!” Her critique was another wake-up call. I didn’t know who my characters were or where they came from. Their diction should flow from characterization, not vice-versa.
My next significant critique intervention came from Harold Underdown, my critiquer at the 2009 Highlights Writer’s Workshop. His most helpful question was simple, yet pivotal: “What does your character want?” I have repeatedly wrestled with that question, and have actually found not one–but layers of answers as I continued to write.

I joyfully marked New Year 2011 by finishing my first draft. I read the entire manuscript and then buckled down to what I naively thought, was a chapter-by-chapter revision. I participated in Kidlit4Japan and won a critique from Ann Manheimer. Among other helpful recommendations, she suggested that I didn’t open my story close enough to the inciting event. As a result, I revised the first five chapters.
Fast forward to September, 2011 and the SCBWI Carolinas conference. Mary Kate Castellani, an associate editor with Walker Books, read 10 pages and offered the biggest book-changing critique of all: since my story featured two main characters–one white and one black–I should write it from both girls’ points-of-view.
Total shock. Rewrite my entire book? Write as much from the black girl’s POV as the white girl’s? How could I, a white author, do that?
That is when I learned how a good critique enables you to re-vision your work.
I laid out my book using different colored note cards representing the alternating chapters. I suppose that means I’m a plotter; I had to visually see how to make the story work from both girls’ point-of-views. (picture of my dining room table)
The result? I’m thrilled that the finished product will be more accessible to a wider audience and am enjoying the new places my manuscript is taking me. But, my critiquing and re-vision hasn’t stopped.
My local SCBWI group reads each new chapter and provides helpful feedback. I love their thoughts about my characters. “Kate wouldn’t act like that,” or, “Do you really think Lillie would say that?” Their comments make me see my characters through new eyes and help ensure that my characters are both consistent and original.
Revision happens on the small, microscopic level, as well as on the “big picture” level. Recently, to prepare an application for the SCBWI WIP grant, Joyce Hostetter went through my first ten pages and showed me how I could cut 400 words. Meanwhile, Rebecca Petruck looked at the big picture of these same pages and gave a cogent argument for opening the book with a different scene. Re-vision time again!
Many years ago I created this graphic organizer “The Writing-Revising Cycle” for my book, Teaching the Story: Fiction Writing in Grades 4-8. Feel free to print out a copy and hang it near your workspace; it’s still a good reminder to me of the work I have ahead of me.
Last night, I dragged my son out of his vacation-lollygagging mode for a moment and gave him the (folded-up) names of the commenters on last week’s interview post with Kathryn Fitzmaurice. Despite the fact that the drumroll he was waiting for didn’t happen, he did choose a lucky winner.
ESTHER WANLISS…
Please send me an email at beckylevine at ymail dot com, with your snail-mail address. I’ll get Kathryn’s amazing new book, A Diamond in the Desert, out to you as soon as I can.
Thanks for entering, everybody!
Boy, I had a whole different post written this morning, all about how I hadn’t made my goal of working through the antagonist’s worksheets inWriting the Breakout Novel Workbook. But then I got up early this morning, opened the second worksheet, and…bam! I still have one more worksheet to go in the character section–on combining characters (maybe I’ll finally figure out if I need the younger brother!), and then I’m done with character.
Yeah, right. Like we’re ever done with character.
But…Just to keep things moving, I’m going to do that last worksheet today. And to encourage myself, I’m designating this holiday Monday as part of the weekend, thus part of the week. Which means I will be ready to move onto the plot worksheets tomorrow. I’m SO ready for plot.
Um…again, Yeah, right. I’m not sure I’m ever ready for plot.
I’m sure I’ve whined talked before about how plot is my biggest challenge, about how I’m not particularly fond of plotting. And how much I need it, because I hate even more the feeling I get when I write without plot–like I’m wandering around in a fog, not knowing if there’s even a stepping stone anywhere around, let alone being able to tell which one I should walk on next. I like the stones laid out for me–it gives me the ability to fill in all the landscaping around them, decorate them with paint and stickers if I want, and–yes–throw some away and add some others. If I don’t have the stepping stones, it’s all just mud.
The worksheet I just finished told me to outline the antagonist’s story. Yeah. I did. Really. At least as well as I could. But it isn’t making me happy–not the outline I’ve got. It still feels nebulous and grey and blah. I’m going to let it go for now and hope that, as I work through the plot worksheets, I’ll see more of the picture and the details. And I WILL go back to that worksheet, as I get more concrete ideas, to make that storyline more solid and active.
The goal for this week, after today? It’s an easy one: Start on the plot worksheets!
Any goals for you this week? Any accomplishments you’d like a pat on the back for? Drop them into the comments below!
Before you read down to the Five, don’t forget to check out my interview with Kathryn Fitzmaurice on her wonderful new MG historical-fiction novel, A Diamond in the Desert. Leave a comment at that post to win a copy of the book!
And onto the revelations. Which aren’t necessarily HUGE revelations, but–you know–those small moments that come along as you think and write, the ones that make you say things like, “Oh!” and “Really?” and “Well, Duh!” But at least they come along.
1. Anger is so often fear externalized.
2. My MC’s mother may have been the youngest sibling in her family, not the oldest.
3. The opposite of the thing you want most can be pretty powerful in its own right. Maybe frighteningly powerful.
4. Finding pieces of yourself in a character can be shocking, informative, and–once more–frighteningly powerful. Phrase of the week?
5. Little things like a sudden car repair and a surprise afternoon of playing bocce ball in the bright sun can throw a wrench into your writing time. Happily, weekends are available to help you (still) hit those goals.
What did you learn about your WIP (and/or yourself!) this week?
Several months ago, I was lucky enough to get an ARC of Kathryn Fitzmaurice’s newest novel, A Diamond in the Desert.

You know those moments, when someone sends you a copy of their book, and you know you want to read it, but you’re thinking…what if? What if you don’t like it? What if it doesn’t grab you? What if it’s not your kind of book?
Believe me, all those bits of worry were a complete waste of time. A Diamond in the Desert is brilliant. I’ve been reading a LOT of historical fiction lately, and while much of the YA genre dispenses with most of the heavy detail and dense historical context that I’m not fond of, Kathryn goes beyond that. The book’s chapters are short, some less than a page, and the voice is light and tight, all at once. She has worked magic–created a world in which the hero is pretty much closing in on himself, with good reason, and pulling back from sharing his thoughts and feelings, and yet…it’s a world in which we fall in love with that character and his story. We know him by his reluctance to let us in. Believe me, this book will challenge all your ideas about what historical fiction is and excite you about what it can be.
And one of you will get challenged right away, because Kathryn’s book launches today, and I’m giving away a copy of A Diamond in the Desert to a commenter on this post. Just leave a comment by Monday, February 20th, and I’ll put your name in the hat. Make sure to leave contact info in the comment!
And now, read on, to see what Kathryn has to say.
BL: What made you decide to write about the Japanese internment camps and the baseball played there?
KF: The idea to write this story came when I visited my oldest son’s middle school National History Day competition. One of his friends, a girl, had built a model of the Zenimura baseball field as it sat outside the camp. I couldn’t stop looking at it. I asked her if I could interview her grandfather, who played outfield for the team. After that interview, I wanted to know everything I could about Gila River, so I contacted two other players and interviewed them, also. I thought I would write a short article about the big game, where they beat the Arizona state champions, because, honestly, the idea of a novel was overwhelming. There was so much I didn’t know, and I wasn’t Japanese. It took a long time before I came up with the courage to start writing the novel. Those months of researching everything and talking with Mr. Furukawa, who was the pitcher for the team, helped tremendously.

BL: Please describe your research process. Do you research and write at the same time? Is your research complete before you get to the revision stage?
KF: After I completed the interviews with the three gentlemen who were on the team, I visited the Laguna Niguel National Archives Building and asked them to order the Gila River newspaper so I could read it. Because I am not Japanese, I felt like I really needed to read all three and half years of the newspaper before writing even one word of the story. It was very intimidating to write about a culture I was not a part of. I was constantly calling Mr. Furukawa to ask him things. I would read about something in the newspaper, an event, (for example, the young girl almost drowning in the dirt canal), and call him to see if he remembered it and what it was like from his point of view. When I got through the newspapers on microfiche, I then bought many books about baseball in the 1940’s, and several about the war. I made a timeline for all three things, one for baseball, one for the war, and one for everything that had happened in Gila River that I wanted to write about. I put the most important events on sticky notes and taped them on the wall of my home office, so that the timeline stretched over four walls. I also taped up a map of the camp and photos of the main character. This took many months, but I felt like it was necessary in order to make me understand, as best as an outsider could, the time period. The only thing I really understood was the setting because I grew up outside of Phoenix. I knew the desert, I knew the way the sun looked when it set, the Gila monsters and snakes, the roadrunners. I knew how it felt to live in the climate. When I started writing the story, with each draft, I would send it to Mr. Furukawa and he would read it and make suggestions. When I was finished writing, I put everything in a folder, in order, so I could go back to it whenever I needed to see it.
BL: All of your chapters are short, many of them less than a page. I love the tightness of this structure, the feeling of scenes that are almost snapshots. Did you know right away you wanted to use this structure, or was it something you developed as you wrote and revised?
KF: This probably happened for two reasons. First, the events I was writing about were all on sticky notes, and so when I was writing, each thing felt, to me, as if it was done, as if there was nothing else to say about it. Also, the first draft was written in poems, with haiku chapter titles, but then when Jennifer Rofe (my agent) and I looked more closely at the entire manuscript, we decided this would not be what young boys would want to read, a book of poems about baseball, so I rewrote the whole manuscript into regular verse.
BL: Why did this structure feel right to you, for Tetsu’s story?
KF: I think, because I can only write from my own point of view, even after interviewing people and reading about what happened, I was not actually there, and so, writing in short snippets made it feel easier for me to understand.
BL: The history of the 1940s causes what happens to Tetsu, but you use few actual instances of outside-the-camp history in the book, and you don’t spend a lot of words on those you include. I’m thinking, for example, of Franklin Roosevelt’s death. For me, the sparseness of these “big” historical moments really brought home the camp’s isolation. How did you pick which historic events you wanted to let inside Tetsu’s immediate story?
KF: For the baseball events, I picked the ones that I thought would have mattered to a young boy who loved baseball, the World Series games, when a new baseball was invented that would travel farther, when Joe DiMaggio was drafted, things like that. For the war, I chose the things that were somehow related to the camp, Eleanor Roosevelt’s visit to the camp, what they did at the camp to celebrate the president’s birthday, things that affected them specifically. I also added a few major war events which were in the Gila River newspaper. I figured if the editors there wrote about them, they were important to the Japanese people at the camp, so I tried to include them in the story.
BL: Can you tell us a little bit about new projects you’re working on now?
KF: I just completed a contemporary fiction MG novel about a girl who tries to change her destiny. She’s named after a poet and is expected to become one, though she doesn’t like poetry at all. Molly O’Neill at HarperCollins is editing it. Our current title is Tied Up in Destiny, due out winter 2013, though that may change. I’ve started another contemporary fiction MG novel, only five pages in at the moment, which is changing everyday as I figure it out!
Thank you very much for interviewing me, Becky. I know you’re working on a YA historical fiction novel also!
Okay, I’m trying something new. (AKA: something that may show up this one time and never appear again, so don’t get your hopes up.) Early last week, I posted about my writing plan–what I was going to achieve with my fiction.
Guess what?
It worked. Pretty much. I didn’t get started on the antagonist, but I did finish up the secondary characters. And, seriously, I did it because I’d said I would. Here. Publicly.
So, I’m going to play with this for a while. I’m going to put up a quick post each Monday, mapping out my fiction goal(s) for the week.
I’m just doing a fiction goal, because–as I’ve said before–the other stuff all gets done. At least, that’s how it seems to work for me. And, no, I don’t expect any of you, or the Internet in general, to be my accountability, but there is something about stating a goal–a manageable goal–that reminds me of its importance, and its doability.
So, this week’s goal:
Feel free to leave your writing goal for the week in a comment. Or if you’d rather do your own Monday Map post, why not share the link? Motivation is contagious, right?
Have a wonderful, productive writing week.
Tallying up the nice things that happened this week:
1. We had one day of rain. February in Northern California is usually The Month of Rain. And wind. And power outages. And trees falling. This was slightly more than a light drizzle, and then it disappeared. I’m seriously torn between wishing we’d get a good storm–because we need it–and totally enjoying this weather that is so Not Winter.
Okay, not completely torn. I am wearing shorts today.
2. I made it to three yoga classes in a row. No, not all in one day, but on three consecutive days. Last night, I tell you, that didn’t seem like such a good thing. I definitely pushed myself into the Overdone-It category. (Who knew ALL THREE TEACHERS would have us do lunges!) This morning, though, after a great night’s sleep, I feel fantastic. And only partly because I have designated today a well-earned day of rest.
3. I got Son reading Chris Moriarty’s The Inquisitor’s Apprentice, which I knew he’d love, and which he IS loving. Now I just have to find somewhere around here that I can buy a knish for him to try.
4. For this week, anyway, I got the pile of to-do’s under what seems to be some kind of control and got time into work projects AND fiction. On schedule today to finish up my secondary characters. Then…How to Turn Your MC’s Mother into a Truly Awful, Yet Sympathetic, Bad Guy.
5. I signed a contract. A book contract.
It’s for one book in a new series from Capstone Press, and it’s my first step down a path I’ve been wanting to get on for a while–writing NF kids’ books for educational publishers. Almost better than signing the contract (okay, not really) has been getting started on the research and outlining–it’s a totally different kind of thinking and writing from the fiction. The best way I can describe it is that it’s like pulling your own, personal jigsaw pieces out of a pile that someone randomly tossed onto the table. And making sure the pieces are both true and intriguing. And then, yes, creating the puzzle itself at the same time. This may be the place where right-brain and left-brain thinking come together, at least for me.
All in all, an excellent week. What’s been the star in your past seven-days?
I realized last night, when I took a breath to think about it, that I blogged only once last week. And didn’t realize it until the week was over.
When I named gave this blog its name, Moving Forward on the Writing Path, I may have naively assumed that forward always meant…well, forward. With no detours, no twists, no stalls. I say “naively,” because, realistically, we all know the writing path actually looks a lot like this:
Signs I know life is getting busy?
What’s the busyness about? Taking first steps into a new writing area I’ve wanted to break into for a long time, hoping to add more non-writing work hours to my week, listening to all the stories in my head that want to be told. Yes, all good things. And you will hear more about them here, if/when they all get finalized and definite!
Still, if Jeeves showed up at my front door today, looking for a job, I wouldn’t say no. And I bet more blogs would magically get written, too!
Life and writing is about organization and management. And just when you think you’ve achieved that, change happens. Sorry…Change happens. Yes, with a capital C. Which is better than boredom and stagnation, but…it does put a few little hills and sharp curves into that path.
What do you do when new things come along? How do you weave them into a pattern that lets you settle into a rhythm and keep that forward movement.
A couple of links for you:
Gail Gauthier has started a series on time management for writers at her blog, Original Content. Check the posts out here.
And Debbi Michiko Florence has made this year her Year of Writing. You can find her series of YOW posts here.
And here’s to having it all…including sanity!