Month: April 2012

Posted in First Drafts, Uncategorized

Why Start Writing? Sometimes, Just to Get to the Questions.

Posted on by beckylevine

I started a new project yesterday.

Voices: You what?! You have a picture book to revise. You have a YA novel to just figure out. There’s that other picture book that’s just sitting there in first-draft stasis! What were you thinking?!

Me: Oh, hush.

Yes, despite all the reasons not to, I opened up a file and tossed down a few more ideas for another picture book that’s been stewing. And then, with not enough ideas, not enough organization, not enough characterization, not enough anything…I started writing.

Why? Because I wanted to. Because I had a few sentences, a few actions, popping up in my brain, and they wanted me to write them into a scene. Or, at least, something resembling a scene.

So I typed. I deleted. I typed some more. I deleted some more. I kind of let that internal editor go a little crazy, telling me that something wasn’t working, telling me to start over. This is something I rarely do, but it kind of felt good. It was sort of nice to look at something I’d written, think about it and decide that, yes, it was trash, and then…ZIP! to get rid of it.

Frankly, I was having a little power party.

Anyway, I wrote and liked stuff, and I wrote and didn’t like stuff, and then I kept writing, letting the stuff I did and didn’t like all stay on the page for now. Kind of a mess, but I was writing. I knew the direction I was going probably wasn’t the right one, and I sure as heck didn’t have any sense of structure or voice or rhythm or pacing yet. Still, I was going somewhere.

When I wound down, and it was time to go pick up my son, I saved, then closed and backed-up the file. I stood up and walked away from the computer.

And those voices came back. Louder this time. And here’s what they said.

  • Why does your hero want to do THIS thing? As opposed to know, any one of a hundred other things. Why THIS THING, with THIS KID?

and

  • If you’re going to show THIS other thing, you’re kind of making a statement. Except you’re not yet. It’s just…there. Doing nothing. Are you going to make THIS thing count, or lose it?

At first, I was:

And then I slapped myself on the forehead, ran back to the computer, reopened the file, and typed those questions (in red!) at the bottom of the draft-so-far.

Because those questions took me that much closer to figuring out the core of this story.

So, sometimes, yes, go for the mess. Write the trash. Somewhere, under those slimy banana peels and the rags you cleaned your skunk-infested dog with, is the thing you need. The tool to take you the next step.

Wherever that goes!

Posted in Uncategorized

Monday Map: Wait! I’m Holding the Stupid Thing Upside Down!

Posted on by beckylevine

Okay, honestly, I’m not all that impressed by the “success” record of my Monday-Map posts. Last week, I tried being flexible with myself and, yes, I was less stressed, but I also got almost nothing done on my writing. Other things, sure. Writing…meh.

I’m going to say that I was gathering inspiration. Some of that was in reading a couple of brilliantly written books: Dana Stabenow’s latest Kate Shugak mystery, Restless in the Grave and John Green’s The Fault in our Stars. Some  more was going up to Books Inc in Burlingame for a NYMBC (Not Your Mother’s Book Club) signing with Robin LaFevers (Grave Mercy) and Barry Lyga (I Hunt Killers).  Robin said something (as usual!) that really struck a chord for me: that she sometimes starts writing a book with a lie–the lie, to herself, that nobody else is going to read this book, that she’s writing it only for herself. This frees her up, obviously, to play with new ideas, but it also lets her push some limits that she might keep herself back from, if she let herself accept that the story would have a wider audience. Something in me feels like I need to get back to this place–back to what I love about my historical fiction’s MC, about what I want her to be.

This week, I’ve got some free hours. And the map thing? Well, I’m shifting directions, pulling what my GPS navigational voice calls “a legal u-turn.” The one thing I did get done last week was that I sent the two most recent versions of my picture book off to my critique group. I was feeling muddled, lost about which way I should be doing. I knew there were some big differences between the two drafts, and I was feeling like I couldn’t look at them straight, see whether one was better than the other, or whether I should be merging them both into something new…again. Lo and behold, my critique group loved the newest version and just had a few things to say about that.

So this week, I go back to being a picture-book writer and reviser. I’ve got a chunk of hours free tomorrow and later in the week, and I’m going to dump out a draft of one story that’s been calling to me (and being way too patient with being ignored), and then I’m going to put some more time into revising the first picture book. Goal? Get it back to the critique group for the next meeting for the next pass.

As to these posts: they may stay, they may go. I guess I’ll see next Monday!

Posted in Uncategorized

Jo Knowles’ Truth & John Green’s THE FAULT IN OUR STARS

Posted on by beckylevine

If you read Jo Knowles blog (and you should), you’ll know the importance that truth holds in her writing–not just in what appears on the page, but in the truths she explores and pushes herself to look at, as she writes. Her commitment to these truths is so clear in all her books. And I’ve been thinking a lot about this kind of truth as I work on my WIP, and the fact that, if I find my truth in the story, it’s probably (hopefully) going to resonate as some truth to my readers. Even if those truths aren’t the same.

I’m not going to go into a deep review of John Green’s latest book, The Fault in our Stars, because, honestly, I don’t want to take apart what, for me, was just a pretty pure emotional reaction of absolutely loving the story, the characters, and the writing. I do want to say, though, that if you’re looking for a wonderful example of what I think Jo is talking about, go read this book. Are all the facts real? Who knows, although, in Green’s acknowledgements, he does say “I cheerfully ignored [expertise on medical matters] when it suited my whims.”

And, really, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is this story Green tells, a story of cancer in so many layers and ramifications it could easily have become heavy and overwhelming, and yet it is light and warm and funny and…true. True to the characters, so, so true to the narrator, and true to me. I have to admit, I had one of those reactions I seem to be having lately, along the lines of, how in the world did this man get so wise, so young? And so talented, so able to magically write that wisdom into an absolutely non-lecturing, non-preaching book?

However he did it, he did. And I’m holding this book up, along with Jo’s, as something to keep pushing myself toward.

Posted in Uncategorized

Monday Map: Slowing Down

Posted on by beckylevine

Even as I typed that header, my brain was arguing: How can you go any slower than you already are? This book is taking forever.

Breathe.

Years ago, my son made this turtle for me.

You probably recognize him. Yes, he’s that little turtle that won the race. My son made him one of those (other) times when I was feeling like my writing work was going to slow, like I was never going to cross the finish line, let alone get there ahead of that hare.

My question for today is: What race? Personally, I think the turtle had a secret– he wasn’t in a race. He was just doing his thing, putting in the time and keeping the pace real, and…getting there. Oh, he beat the hare? Yeah, but you know, that wasn’t about anything the turtle did. He didn’t change his attitude or his behavior….he walked his walk and didn’t worry about what the hare was doing.

I think I forgot about that truth this past week. I started feeling the need to race again, and the feeling like there was no way I could win, and guess what? I turned into the hare. I stepped off the track and didn’t get much done. On any of my projects.

This week, back to the turtle. I got into the right pace on Saturday, just putting in steady, relaxed time at my computer, working toward a deadline. And, yeah, I got so much done. And then on Sunday, I took the day off: drove up to San Francisco airport to have breakfast with my sisters (one of whom was flying through), and then down to Great America to spend the afternoon strolling around with my husband and then attending an awards ceremony for my son’s Science Fair.

Yes, I said strolling. At an amusement park. Rides? Nope. My husband’s ribs are still healing from that bike crash, so for us, roller coasters were out. My son went off with a friend and did all the rides where you go upside down, get drenched, and try not to throw up. (Oh, wait, that would be me.) My husband and I strolled. Normally, this would have driven both of us crazy. But here’s the thing. It didn’t. Okay, yes, we needed a cup of coffee to get into the mood, but the sky was blue, and the park wasn’t crowded, and we sat in the sun and talked about work and house projects and what we want to do with our time when our son goes down to Disneyland for a jazz festival. We ate fried food and soft-serve ice cream. We walked. And then we sat for two hours in a theater watching hundreds of kids get called up on stage to win their science awards.

We did this all calmly, happily, and without feeling like we were losing the race. My guess? We needed a day like that. Who knew?

Okay, yes, I probably knew. There was a reason my son made me that turtle all those years ago. There’s also a reason I keep the turtle around–obviously, I need a reminder every now and then.

So, at least for this week, I’m not calendering things, I’m not allotting hours here and there, I’m not getting fixated on any finish lines. I’m putting my relaxed butt in the chair, and I’m channeling the turtle. And I’m not going to worry about what that hare is doing.